I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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