Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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