I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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