i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
