I can text with my tongue
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
