i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
