question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
