whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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