At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
