Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
