Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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