Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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