Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
