The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
