I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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