I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
