it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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