i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
