she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
