We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
