my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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