Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's get the cat blown out
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
