Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
