yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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