Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
