I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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