Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
