Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
