i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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