Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
cat food counts as protein by the way
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
