What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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