i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
