Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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