is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
