dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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