im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
