Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
