I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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