my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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