tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
