Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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