he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
