my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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