How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How's work?
Spinning.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
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