Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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