You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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