i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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