I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
