All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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