we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
