I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We need to get me chipped asap
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
