Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
